Do they really mean that?

I haven’t blogged for a while because we had a fairly manic weekend a week ago which I may tell you about later. It has taken a bit of time to recover. Occasionally I will see a notice that amuses me so I thought that I would share a few of them with you:

  • In a hotel up north: “Sunday lunch. Served on Sunday”. Well I guess Sunday is the best day to serve it – I am not sure I would want a Sunday lunch on a Wednesday.
  • In a local park “Dogs on leads must be exercised round the edge of the park”. So dogs off the lead must keep to the middle of the park?
  • At the foot of some steps at a supermarket “Warning, trolleys stop beyond this point”. It is difficult enough to get them to go straight let alone push them up a flight of steps! Actually these days supermarket trolleys are much more amenable to my wishes compared to a few years ago when you could guarantee that one wheel would want to go in a different direction to the other three.
  • And this notice made me ponder “What was the other half made of (presumably some wood other than oak)?”.

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  • On a main road the notice Warning – Workforce in the road conjures up images of great holes with the top half of a workman visible. Even the potholes of Buckinghamshire can’t achieve this. I rather suspect that workforce are actually on the road.
  • In a doctors’ waiting room next to a No mobile phones notice is the announcement that there is Free WiFi. I am not sure how we should use this free WiFi without our smartphone unless we happen to have a tablet (non-medicinal) about our person. In many hospitals mobile phones were banned because of an unfounded fear that they would interfere with medical equipment but in the waiting room it now is the reasonable desire to avoid loud one-sided conversations.
  •  Closing down sale – everything must go or Stock clearance – everything must go – well of course everything must go, that’s what sales or clearances are for. You never see Stock clearance – please don’t buy the last ten items do you?
  • Information correct at the time of going to press – E&OE was on a newsletter. It looks innocuous enough until you realise that E&OE means Errors and Omissions Excepted. In other words the information might be correct but on the other hand it might not. In reality the intention is to say we have tried our best but we are not perfect and we may have made mistakes.
  • On the website for a drug used to treat prostate cancer and it states that it is not for use in women or children. They then go on to say “before you take [this drug], tell your healthcare provider . . . if you plan to become pregnant or are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed“.  Now I know I did geography at school instead of biology but I am fairly certain that if I am not a woman and/or have prostate cancer I am unlikely to be breastfeeding or planning to become pregnant!  I guess the wording is the price of living in a litigious society.

We probably know what the author of the notice was trying to say but it can be fun placing an alternative interpretation on the words.

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