Decision made

Ihad a good weekend here at FNH. Nothing spectaculr happened but  Liz had the opportunity to do jobs she couldn”t when I was at home. Such as sanding the end of the lounge ready for the final coat of paint as my son applies the finishing touches to the kitchen etc.

We did a bit of talking over the weekend and with the doctor today and decided not to go for radiotherapy but to stay here and at home. It would have been a lot of upheaval and discomfort for possibly no benefit and plenty of downside.

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A difficult decision

My right leg had swollen up again and this time my left leg was trying to join it, Getting out of bed was increasingly exhausting and difficult. Liz rang the Ian Rennie nurse and discussed it. The upcome was that the Lymphodemia nurse from Florence Nightingale who came and gave me a pressure sock and put a pressure bandage on my upper leg, For those who don’t know Florence Nightingale is a hospice on the Stoke Mandeville site while Ian Rennie provides similar care in your own home. You may remember that we supported the Florence Nightingale midnight walk fundraiser.

Continue reading “A difficult decision”

I don’t have eyes in the back of my head

I have told you that after a month in hospital I was allowed home with a package of carers and nurses put in place, but after being home for a week or so I went back  with  an infection. This seemed to be sorted so home again. A couple of weeks later and I was back with another infection. After loads of scans and blood tests they concluded that I had an abcess on my lung and was put on long term IV antibiotics. I couldn’t go home unless they found a tablet equivalent, which they did so I was able to go home. 

What is particularly  frustrating is having to rely on every one else for getting everything that is not within arms length.  So I am having to spend time reading watching  TV and writing.  I have my laptop set up by the bed and have a small keyboard on my lap. So far have written my life story – something for the granddaughters to read one day (it’s only about 20 pages) although my brother-in-law has been lapping it  up.

In addition to having to have everything within arms length I can only see things in front or the side of me; I have no idea what is happening behind me, Possibly the greatest annoyance has been that I have completely lost any strength in my legs, so with help I attempt to stand up by the bed a few times a day which is exhausting.

I had an appointment with the oncologist and an ambulance was ordered but then they discovered that the Cancer Unit cannot cope with patients on stretchers so I had a phone conversation with him. Also had conversations with the Ian Rennie and district nurses. A lot to mull over.

How things have changed

Just a few weeks ago I was able to walk and take care of myself but gradually I became less active with walking becoming more of a struggle. There was no obvious reason and we did not address it.

Then on the fateful Friday I collapsed. I am now lying on a bed with restricted movement. I can move my arms and head but sitting up is a challenge – I  can really only do that with the help of the bed. I can hardly move my legs which are very heavy. With assistance I can be dragged off the bed and stand up with support but not for long. Sitting anywhere (other than lying on the bed) is painful because of swollen accoutrements. Various bags empty various organs!

What I don’t understand is why. Apart from the reducing mobility I was finding eating difficult often throwing up and with no appetite. We’re these unrelated or not? What was lurking in the background but I had forgotten about was the prostate cancer. Was that the cause of all my ills?  Or how much was down to the pneumonia or sepsis or my diabetes going out of control?

Mixed news

I have been visited by various lovely people who are arranging for me to go home. A hospital bed will be set up in the lounge and I will have nurses coming in to help. Short term outlook improved long term who knows. More of that anon. The staff here at SMH have been brilliant. I will tell you more about the strange events that have affected me over the last few months another time.

Sadly perhaps 100yards away from me in a hospice the other side of the hospital my granddaughter’s other grandfather passed away last night. This is the granddaughter who was having her hair cut off for charity and she had managed to bring the haircut forward to tonight so that we both could see the result. Sadly it was not to be. But she kept her promise and her hair is a lot shorter! (I am not allowed to show photos). The cut off hair will be made into wigs for cancer sufferers while money she is raising will go to the Hospice and cancer research. I hope this will also provide some comfort for my granddaughters.

If you want to support them there is a link below or kind words (which I will pass on) are welcome.

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/ToniAddison

 

 

 

The broom cupboard

The other weekend is all a bit of a mystery to me from Friday morning onwards – at one point I thought I was in a storage closet except that among the clutter were a couple of beds. Oh this is where people go to die I thought before I drifted off.

Nearly a fortnight later I am lying down unable to get out of bed. It amazing how quickly you lose muscle tone and what difference fat legs make. I was weighed the other day and was almost 10kg heavier than normal. All liquid in my legs and elsewhere I think. This meant that I am very restricted on where I can put my legs etc. Then when I try to stand up I need the help of two physios or nurses and a frame or rotastand which I can hang on to to get from bed to chair or back. I shall have another go later but at least I’m not in the broom cupboard.